In the summer before my Junior year, I traveled to Peru through the Honors "From Andes to Amazon" program led by Ursula Valdez and Jennifer Atkinson. It will forever be hard to put into words how much this trip meant to me, although I attempted to do so in the reflection below, which was written a few weeks after I got back. A year and a half later, as an almost-graduated senior, I believe I am able to even more fully appreciate the rippling effects that this experience had on me. At the most fundamental level, this trip was a desperately needed reset button at a time when I felt really lost. The physical process of traveling to the rainforest and disconnecting from every thread of familiarity in my life-- from my phone, to my community, to my daily routine-- forced me to slow down and open my eyes. We spent large chunks of time alone in quiet contemplation, so suddenly I had space to breathe, reflect, and untangle my thoughts for the first time in years. I had to come to terms with who I was at that moment, stripped of all outside influences and distractions and removed from my always-busy schedule. I realized that I wasn't on the path I wanted to be on in life, but I could take control of the things that were holding me back. I learned how to truly pay attention; to nature, to wildlife, to sounds and sights, to the quiet beauty of everyday moments, to my own thought processes and emotions, my intuition.
On a wider scope, this experience made me realize the systemic issues that underlie so many aspects of American society and contribute to environmental destruction, as well as my own personal role in this system. I was able to see firsthand what is at stake if climate change and rainforest exploitation continue at this rate. I realized that this danger extends far beyond the rainforest and into every wild place that I love. I realized that being complacent is simply not an option, because every one of us has a part in this. Even a year and a half later, these issues are on my mind almost every day. I have had plenty of time to process by now, and as I prepare for graduation I know that the next step is to take action. If there is one thing I took away from this trip above all else, it is a feeling of hope. Hope because I know there are people fighting this battle in growing numbers. Hope because I am one of them now, and I have a voice through which I can tell my experience. Hope because there is simply no other option.
On a wider scope, this experience made me realize the systemic issues that underlie so many aspects of American society and contribute to environmental destruction, as well as my own personal role in this system. I was able to see firsthand what is at stake if climate change and rainforest exploitation continue at this rate. I realized that this danger extends far beyond the rainforest and into every wild place that I love. I realized that being complacent is simply not an option, because every one of us has a part in this. Even a year and a half later, these issues are on my mind almost every day. I have had plenty of time to process by now, and as I prepare for graduation I know that the next step is to take action. If there is one thing I took away from this trip above all else, it is a feeling of hope. Hope because I know there are people fighting this battle in growing numbers. Hope because I am one of them now, and I have a voice through which I can tell my experience. Hope because there is simply no other option.
Honors Experiential Learning Reflection
As I sit and try to reflect on the month I spent in Peru over the summer, it is difficult to know where to begin. It has now been six weeks since I returned from what was undoubtedly the wildest month of my life so far. Six weeks ago, I touched down in Sea-Tac airport sporting rainbow-striped cotton pants and a golden glow on my skin. My bag was stuffed to maximum capacity with brightly dyed alpaca wool, intricately woven scarves, heavy-duty rubber boots, and a collection of still-slightly-damp field clothes. Walking through the familiar airport hallway felt surreal, as if I was being dipped into some alternate reality in which everything looked the same but was somehow inexplicably different. That feeling stayed with me for weeks, as I slowly readjusted to the chaos of student life in the city while processing the realization that I am the one who has changed, in a way. It is clear by the way I instinctively turn off the water in the sink as I wash my hands, and by the discomfort I feel when I see palm oil listed as an ingredient somewhere. Even as Fall quarter begins to pick up pace, when I close my eyes I can still clearly imagine the peaceful breeze of the boat along the Madre de Dios River, or the cacophony of rainforest sounds that were the constant soundtrack to our stay in Cocha Cashu. When I moved into my new house during the first week of school, I found an enormous Wolf Spider in my closet, and I didn’t even flinch as I caught it in a cup and carried it outside. Just a month earlier I would have run away screaming for someone to get rid of it for me-- instead, I found myself thinking almost fondly of the tarantula that had lived on the trail to the composting toilets at Cocha Cashu, that I had nicknamed Terry and looked forward to seeing every day. I guess spending a week living in a tent in the Amazon jungle can do that to a person! |
Before I left for Peru, I had somehow managed to convince my brain that I knew what I was getting myself into. When people asked me what it was exactly that I was going to be doing on my trip, I smiled and explained that I was traveling to an isolated research station in one of the most untouched rainforest areas on the planet, sleeping in a tent and spending my days conducting field research on primate behavior. Their eyebrows would shoot up in surprise as they said something along the lines of “That sounds intense,” and I would laugh in naive agreement. Of course I was prepared, I thought-- after all, I had bought all the right clothes and a safari-style sun hat, and I even had extra-strength bug spray! Flash forward several weeks: I am standing in a thick blanket of 90 degree humid air, sweat has been pouring out of every pore for so long I don’t remember what it’s like to feel dry anymore, with approximately 46 mosquito bites (yes, I counted) speckling every centimeter of exposed skin on my hands, forearms, and ankles. It’s been three days since my last shower, I’m itching from head to toe, I’ve been awake since 4:30am chasing after monkeys all day, and yet somehow I am completely, utterly content.
The truth is, nothing could have prepared me for the reality of life in the rainforest. The days were long and exhausting, but packed to the brim with new discoveries and the indescribable beauty of the Amazon. Every day, I had countless experiences that left me reeling with wonder and joy. Some of these experiences I had read about in assigned readings before leaving for the trip, and at the time thought it was the kind of thing that only a hardcore ecologist could really get that excited about; like seeing an army ant raid or a strangler fig tree in action. Instead, I found myself struck with awe at every turn (after witnessing an army ant raid I ran around the station giddy with excitement, telling anyone who would listen what I had seen). I learned how to pay attention to detail in a way I never had before, marveling at insects and plants that I normally never would have noticed. I went from having zero interest in birds to being able to identify a Turkey vulture from a Black vulture from over a hundred meters away, and from knowing absolutely nothing about plants to being able to recognize Bromeliaceae, Asteraceae, Melastomataceae, and all kinds of other plant families at a glance. I voluntarily woke up before sunrise to catch birds in mist nets, and to run through the forest after foraging monkey troops for hours before breakfast. Nothing about life in the rainforest was easy, but everything about it was rewarding and worthwhile. |
My time at Cocha Cashu not only intensified my love and respect for the natural world, it also allowed me to grow as a person in countless ways. I became a better scientist and stronger problem solver as I learned to navigate the challenges of a research project dependent on tracking down primates: one of the most unpredictable and agile mammal groups in the forest. I worked with my teammates to adjust our research goals and come up with a more realistic project, with help from our mentor and program director, Ursula Valdez, and learned the importance of patience and persistence in field work. Every day, I had the chance to observe multiple different species of primates, from Spider monkeys to Capuchins to Howlers. I spent an afternoon sitting at the base of a fig tree that stretched out over the lake, watching dozens of Capuchins and Squirrel monkeys forage, scamper, and quarrel. I watched individuals across different primate species stop in their tracks to stare at me, some spending several minutes to curiously observe this strange-looking trespasser in their domain. It was truly humbling to witness the mutual respect that crossed between us, and to see that they were just as curious about me as I was about them.
As the days went on, I learned the detoxifying freedom of being completely disconnected from my cell phone and social media. In our busy lives, we become so accustomed to constantly being plugged in and overstimulated, constantly worrying about checking our notifications and stressing out about upcoming deadlines. At Cocha Cashu, there was nothing but the present moment: taking it all in, appreciating it fully, and embracing the wonderful moments as well as the challenging ones wholeheartedly. I felt more at peace than I had in a very long time, and ever since I got back home I have been working hard to find that sense of balance in my life. It is obviously a lot more challenging to resist the temptation of technology when it is all around me, but I have found that I am much more conscious about how much time I spend checking notifications and worrying about trivial things. |
One of the biggest impacts this program has had on me is that I have come away with a sense of urgency on environmental issues, and a renewed hope that positive change can be made. A key moment for me (and there were many) was a presentation/discussion on environmental grief, lead by our mentor and co-leader, Jennifer Atkinson. This discussion addressed the psychological effects of climate change and ecocide, and I recognized many of my own feelings in the stages of environmental grief that we talked about. For a long time, I have bounced around between the stages of despair and anger; recognizing my feelings of loss and fear for the future, but believing that the situation is hopeless and nothing can be done about it. This feeling of hopelessness tends to trap people and prevent them from fighting for change. Over the course of my trip to Peru, there were many instances that changed my churning doubtfulness into fiery indignation. Surrounded by the ancient, irreplaceable beauty of the rainforest, I learned what is at stake if nothing changes. I learned about the many ways in which my lifestyle as an American is threatening the existence of this place, and the changes that need to take place in our society to alter the path we are on. I became close friends with my classmates and, for the first time in my life, felt like I was part of a community of people who understood and truly cared about these issues, and were prepared to work to inspire change in society. These experiences have fueled my belief that together we can make a difference, starting on a small scale and rippling outward from there.
Frankly, there is no way for me to fully express all the ways that this program has changed my life. Likewise, I cannot think of any combination of words that could describe how grateful I am to have had this experience. I know that I still have plenty of processing and reflecting left to do, and, even more importantly, I have to discover ways to turn those reflections into actions throughout my life. While I was in Cocha Cashu, I was so enthralled that I felt ready to drop all of my current life plans to become a field ecologist. Back home, I remembered all the reasons why I fell in love with Neuroscience (my major), but I do intend to find ways to continually incorporate ecology into my life. I want to continue to seek education on environmental issues, and I want to be an advocate in my communities. I feel emboldened in the fight to save our planet, and I am more motivated than ever before to connect with like-minded individuals in my community, like the wonderful friends I made on this trip. It is people like these who will change the world, and that is something I do not want to miss out on. Considering how my trip to the Amazon has changed my life, it is the least I can do. |
Below are two assignments that I worked on over the course of this trip. The first is a group research paper on primate behavior patterns across different species. Getting to follow these incredible animals to study their behavior was one of the biggest highlights of this experience by far. The second assignment is a blog post that I wrote on the process of traveling to Cocha Cashu.